I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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