i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
