im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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