I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i used baking grease as lip gloss
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
