the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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