I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
