I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
