If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
