then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
