On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
