The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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