Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
