Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
