he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
