sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm just crazy horny about you
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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