the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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