So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
