Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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