I hate all girls vehemently.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize