Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
