Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
