TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
