Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
