i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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