If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize