I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
