Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
