I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
