2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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