Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
