I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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