Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
