Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Are we still banned from the library?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
