I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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