I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Randomize
