you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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