My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
she peed on how many people?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
