yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
