thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
