they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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