As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
