Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just had sex bonerless
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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