Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
