It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
