College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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