we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
