R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
sarcasm needs its own font
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
