Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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