I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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