Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
