the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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