She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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