Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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