The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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