I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I checked into jail on foursquare
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
