i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
