I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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