I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
