Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
