I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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