Say something about gay babies.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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