I hate all girls vehemently.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize