wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
