her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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