my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
