Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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