he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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