Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
