i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
