I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
