i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
