I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
