So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
