I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
