She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
