Only a mothe r could love this liver
People with herpes should wear stickers.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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