last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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