how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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