I wanna passion pit in your ass
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
