Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
