Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
