I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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