Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
