I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
