he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
