She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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