i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
