i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
