he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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